advise about birthday party invites from school?

I have a son 5 yr old and a step son 5 yr old who both live with us full time. they go to same school but different classes. my son got a invite to a costume birthday party, should i not take his step brother too? i hate he doesnt get to go but i thought it might be rude to bring an extra kid. what are the rules on this? advise about birthday party invites from school?
Several ways you could handle this.





You could call the parent and explain your situation and ask if it would be a huge intrusion for the step son to attend the party as well. He probably didn't get an invite because he' s in a separate classroom. Apologize to the host and offer to bring something to help with the party (like a bag of chips; some candy; etc). If the party is at a party place or where the host is paying for the number of kids to attend or for them to participate in some activity (bowling) then let her know you'll pay the extra (and then actually do it). Most hosts won't mind if you call ahead to work out the details. If it's a sleep over, I would not recommend it or if the host is having to transport the kids to an activity, again, too much inconvenience. Under the circumstances you describe, I certainly wouldn't have a problem with the addition of another child.





You could take your step son on a special outing to see a movie or out to dinner so that he's attending a special outing. You might ask him if he's comfortable attending the party where he won't know many of the kids (except your son). He may not even want to go.





I would take this as an opportunity to sit down both kids and explain that although they are the same age and attend the same school, they won't always have the same friends and from time to time, one of them might get an invitation to do something that the other won't.





Kids are more understanding that parents sometimes give them credit for.


advise about birthday party invites from school?
I would say that the invite was intended for the child it was given to, not his siblings. His brother will get invites at other times.





I have had birthday parties for my two and had uninvited siblings bought along without the mum even asking, I think it is a bit rude really.





When planning a party, you cater for those your child has choosen to attend, and that includes party bags too.





I am surprised how many others think that it is ok to 'put the parent on the spot' and ask if you could bring the uninvited child along! This is life, sometimes we get invited and sometimes we don't. Even if the party is in a big hall, the birthday child may not know your stepson at all and wonder who he is!
I would write a note to the parent of the other kid explaining the situation and asking if you can bring his stepbrother too - and say explicitly that you will not be offended if they say no. It might be a big party in a hall, one more will make no difference, and she simply didn't realise your son had a stepbrother the exact same age - or it might be something more expensive with a set number of taken places only given to special friends.





Easier to do it in a note, because then you don't have to put the other parent on the spot. You could even say ';I'll assume it's not okay unless you tell me otherwise.';
You can do two things:


Call the mom of the birthday boy and explain the situation. Ask about the possibility of your step-son attending and offer to pay his way. Party places charge about $10 per child these days so it's not cheap for the host to have to pay for another child. What about other parents that are also in your shoes? Does that mean the hosts have now 5 extra kids on their hands?


or


You might want to consider taking your step-son out for a fun one-on-one time while your other son is attending the birthday party. Take him someplace fun and buy him ice cream or something.





I have two children about the same age and I've been in your situation.
Ettiquette on party invites is that the invitation is for the invited child only. Yes, you are right to think it would be rude to dump off an extra kid at the party. It is and wouldn't be appreciated. I'm sure there will be parties in the future that the other child is invited to and not your son. It happens with kids in the same household. It is equally as rude to call the other parent to ask if they can come or write a note asking to do so.
No, you do not take your step son to the party. Your son was invited to the party because he knows the classmate and it would be a breach of manners to take someone to a parter that is not invited. The birthday boy probably doesn't know your step-son. This is a good time to explain to him how things like this work, that probably in life both of them will get invited to things without the other. Take him to a special lunch if you think he feels very bad about it.
You should ask the other parent first before you bring the other boy. Sometimes the invite is only met for the person that it is intended for. The parents may only want to have the amount of children that they have asked, and maybe the parents don't know your other child, or the child who is having the party may not know your other boy well enough.
You don't bring an additional person unless the invite says +1 or ';and guest';. It's positively rude and presumptuous to do otherwise. Calling the host to ask is rude too, it puts them on the spot.
You could call the parent and ask if he can go. Most llikelythe only reason he didn't get an invite is because he is not in the same class not because the other child ddoesn'tlike him.